I didn’t even know what was wrong with me anymore. I was well enough to see that this girl was not worth what I was doing to myself, but it seemed like I was just so wrapped in such a small thing that I just couldn’t get over it. Ironic. I think. What is irony? This is irony. If anything was ever ironic, it was this. Ironic.
Ironic. Ironic.
If you say a word enough it loses all meaning.
Meaning.
Meaning.
Meaning.
It’s lost all meaning.
“Jacob!”
Jacob.
Jacob.
Jacob.
I’ve lost all meaning.
“You left your backpack on the bus,” she spoke softly in between light breaths.
“What are you doing here?”
“You left your backpack on the bus.”
“So you came to give it to me?”
“That’s what people do for other people when they don’t hate everything.”
“I don’t hate everything.”
“What don’t you hate?”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the girl of your dreams.”
She was the girl of my dreams.
“I brought your backpack.”
“Thanks.”
“What are you doing in the grass?”
“Who are you?”
The girl of my dreams.
“Is this your house?”
“I’ve never seen you before.”
“You sat next to me on the bus.”
“I think you sat next to me on the bus, actually.”
“We have classes together.”
“I’ve never seen you before.”
“I just moved here.”
“You know my name?”
“Or I’m really good at guessing, huh?”
“I guess.”
“I brought your backpack.”
“Oh yeah?”
I opened my eyes. There was no light to fill them with intoxicating rays that would
make her glow and become my angel. I had no angel.
“People normally ask the other person’s name when they meet, you know.”
People.
People.
People.
“What’s your name?”
“Megan, thanks for asking.”
“Yeah.”
She sat down beside me, her knees tucked into her chest and her long brown skirt
flooded up to her shins. She was very pale. She was beautiful.
I closed my eyes.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I opened my eyes. The lighting was all different. I could see the infectious
spread of color darting from the setting sun across the sky. I must have nodded
off. My arm was heavy. I was comfortable though. I think she was sleeping on me.
I nodded off.
I opened my eyes. The lighting was all different. I could see the violet haze that
wrapped around the otherwise twinkling stars. A light soars through the sky,
further away than I could even grasp. I wondered how far into the past I was
staring. How long ago had that comet or star or extraterrestrial super-being shot
past our dying skies? My arm didn’t feel so heavy anymore. I didn’t feel so
comfortable anymore.
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