Stupidumb - 10/9/16

It's not like I'm the first
 But it's not like that helps
It's not like it's my first
 But it's not like that helps
I know I have control
 But it's not like that helps
I rely on a thing
I rely on a person
I rely on a feeling
 But it's not like that helps
I don't know how many times I've heard it
 Or how many more to come
“You're going to feel it later”
 I'll have to let it all out
  So how am I supposed to say
I'm feeling it right now
 I'm suffering right now
I'm just too fucking proud
I know this isn't profound
 And it's not like
I'm the first
 But it's not like that helps

These New Things - 11/06/15

How many years when I
Stopped believing it was all for me
Lost faith in myself
Gave up on finding dreams
Hard to say
Hard to see
Hard to be
Feels like drifting through sea of faith
And all I see is faith
Faith in what I see
Where did all that freedom go
All I had to do was reach

Green - 06/20/15

If I really look inside myself
If I really stir up my guts
If I really take my heart in fist
If I really bleed it dry
If I really search for truth
For happiness
For clarity
I think I'll find
It's always somewhere else

The Hopeful Hound - 06/20/15

I watched the dog
Through the chain-link fence I saw
His paws hinged at the patio stair
He watched me
He cocked his head in brief intervals
Saying nothing
I wondered
What do you believe in
What do you see
What is it you feel
When you're looking through the chain-link fence at me
A car from nowhere slides into the drive
And the master creature walks
And the dog bounces to attention
The master, up the deck past the dog
The dog, to the master at the door
Master, through the door
Dog, to the patio stair
Looking through the chain-link fence at me

Ambition - 05/23/15

It wakes me in the morning
Convinces me to rise from bed
Seems to offer some reward
If I give into it
But as I slog and grind and slave
Through the pressures of the day
It wanes and withers sad and slow
Never seems to stay
But as I crawl to sleep at night
It welcomes me again
Soars high and proud and says to me:
You've missed your shot
Such poor luck
But I'll be back tomorrow
You whiny lazy fuck
My ambition is a preteen erection
And it's a fleeting piece of shit.

Almost Memories - 05/21/15

Everyone's got theories
About such and such and more
But I can't see them being worth
The scraps they're scribbled on
And everyone's unhappy
And everyone's afraid
They cram it all up deep inside
But they just keep shakin it
Till they find it's leaked out on the floor
But the thing about the dead is
They've learned just not to care
They see we're re lost and finished
And they're too polite to share.

Project - 04/05/15

Who to be
Don't even know who it is
that I even want to see
Oh, where to start
How the hell do I tell if
I'm a project worth the thought